16 Things About Marriage

I officiated a wedding last Saturday in which I shared 16 things that Renee and I have learned after 16 years of marriage. The list went over pretty well with the 300 people at the wedding that I thought I would share it with you. So on our 16th anniversary on this 16th of June, Renee and I share 16 things we’ve learned about marriage –

1. There are many things you can forget while you are married, but each other’s birthday, your anniversary date, and Valentines Day are dates you are NOT allowed to forget

2. If you do happen to remember Valentines Day, it’s not a good idea to eat the chocolate you gave as a gift

3. Two words that are simply unavoidable – “Chick flicks”

4. When you ask your wife what she wants for Christmas and she says it doesn’t really matter – oh, believe me, it matters

5. When you go to buy her that Christmas gift, make sure it’s nothing you can plug into an outlet, requires batteries, or anything that can purchased at Home Depot

6. When people talk about compromise in marriage, it’s really just a code word for, “Give in or you’re sleeping on the couch.”

7. Guys, you’ll never really fully understand why she spends so much time in the bathroom, and believe, you won’t want to know

8. You know those commercials for Axe body wash that’s so irresistible to the opposite sex? It really works!

9. Gals, men really are that hard headed, you’ll just have to get used to it

10. If you sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweetie and wipe the seatie (Renee loves bathroom humor)

11. If you hold hands during an argument, it’s impossible to throw objects at each other

12. You would have never thought that the thermostat will be your greatest source of conflict

13. Guys, you will be sent to the store to buy things that no man should ever have to buy. Just put on a pair of sunglasses and a big hat and hope no one you knows sees you

14. Gals, if he’s intent on fixing it, whatever it is, just because he thinks he can, just humor him

15. Sharing your life together means sharing your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams, and the last bite of cheesecake

16. From your wedding day on, honeydews are no longer melons